The NBA is back! The Miami Heat got their rings on opening night and went on to pretty much dominate the Chicago Bulls, though the final score of 107-95 makes it seem a little bit closer than it actually was. Derrick Rose looked, um, pretty good? On the TNT broadcast, we were treated to 30 airings of the same three LeBron James commercials which led to the following burning question: “Why was LeBron struggling so much to do push ups with his little son on his back?” In game two of the double header, the Lake Show, or whatever group of castoffs is standing in for this year’s Lake Show, took on their roommates the Clippers. Kobe was in a black-on-black-on-black mamba suit at the end of the bench and for whatever reason (fear? ennui? nickyoungus iwanttostabiate?) it reminded us of last year’s fantastic Kobe System ads for Nike. The Lakers look like they’re in for a long season as I write this (halftime, down 63-55, Nick Young looking like we all feared he’d be) so here’s to Kobe– and the rest of the NBA, WELCOME BACK!– hoping he gets better and eventually makes Nick Young apologize to Kanye West for wasting two million dollars of his time.