Nick Johnson announced his retirement today.
Now I know what you are asking: “Who the hell is Nick Johnson?” That’s alright. Lots of people are surely in the same boat as you. Nick Johnson was a baseball player.
But Nick Johnson wasn’t ANY baseball player. He was the Samuel L. Jackson+M. Night Shamaylan of baseball. He was, literally, made of glass. He never played more than 147 games in a season. He only played more than 100 games in FOUR of his ten seasons. He missed all of the 2007 season and most of the 2008 season with a broken leg. Think about that: a broken leg SO severe that he was out for at least 18 months.
The visual images of how someone can break their leg so drastically playing baseball are both hilarious and horrifying.
We here at ALTTAB always make of fun of baseball players that get DL’d for extended periods of time from injuries sustained playing baseball (cough cough RYAN HOWARD cough cough). But Nick Johnson is someone special.
There are so many athletes whose careers have been cut short by injuries: Bill Walton, Greg Oden, Joe Theismann, Yao Ming, just to name a few. Some human bodies just weren’t made to take the beating of a professional athlete’s schedule. Perhaps their bodies are pre-disposed to specific types of injuries that playing a professional sport exacerbates. Or perhaps some people have hollow bones, like birds. Or velociraptors.
Yeah, that’s it. Nick Johnson was the velociraptor of baseball.