The Lakers have been great for the majority of my life. True, I fully adopted the team during the Ceballos-Van Exel-Jones era, a comparatively low period by the Lakers’ standards, but prior to that and from that point on– except for 2005— the Lakers were great.
Well, now things are getting pretty dark for the Lake Show. And not dark like in ’05. This is very near the end of Kobe’s career; Dwight Howard, supposedly the future of the franchise, needs to be put on a rocket, to the sun. The Clippers are fantastic. Getting my mind around all of this makes me a little woozy. I’ve been drunk on Laker domination for years and if they stop now I’m afraid the cumulative hangover may kill me. Walk through several of the Lakers’ biggest issues with me to see if we can come up with anything. I’ve already put out ALTTAB’s best attempt to fix things, but we haven’t heard back from Kupchek yet.
First, the ALTTAB-led ‘Dwight Howard on a rocket, to the sun’ campaign has been forced to continue with even greater intensity thanks to the addition of new characters to the situation. Now we’ve all gotten a chance to meet Dwight’s dad and his interesting theories about the hypothetical impact of Stan Van Gundy on the Lakers.
It is unclear exactly why Dwight’s dad is so sure Stan would be all over Kobe to stop calling out Dwight for being an awful person. If anything, Stan has a vested interest in Dwight being called out:
Remember those days? When Dwight had perfected his NBA Hamlet routine and was taking his performance to even higher Shakespearean levels by incorporating elements of Julius Caesar? The latest rumor going around the League has Dwight going to Boston for a broken down Rajon Rondo. Kupchak has denied this report, again insisting that he has no interest in trading Dwight. Get those scientists back in the lab! ON A ROCKET, TO THE SUN!
Second, Lakers owner Jerry Buss appears to be in his final days. Buss, who bought the Lakers in 1979 and has overseen 10 NBA Championship seasons during his 33 years of ownership, has been fighting cancer for quite some time. His illness’ progression has been an open secret for a while, made even more apparent by the fact that Buss has been seen in public less and less and that he hasn’t been able to attend a single Lake Show game this season. Some people are already spinning the story forward to the potential Buss family infighting that may take place over the terms of ownership and power. Its a sad time.
Third, look at this picture of Pau and his hurt foot:
For the love of Christ. Pau is currently laid up with a torn plantar fascia. He’s not going to have surgery but he’s going to be doing stuff like that up there for six to eight weeks waiting to heal up. Ugh.
Fourth, the Clippers. They look fantastic. The most recent battle of Staples Center Tenants, on Valentine’s Day, was a blood bath, with the Lake Shaw getting put down 125-101. Dwight looked helpless against Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan, the latter who effortlessly dunked on Dwight’s head. Its really hard to remember Dwight is a former Defensive Player of the Year. For kids from the LA area who grew up in the 90s and early 00s, this new reality of Clipper competence is jarring and seeing it juxtaposed directly with the Lakers’ flailing– ugh.
That’s about I can take of this. Hopefully Jerry Buss is cooking up one more great move from his hospital bed.